He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
