i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
