I don't usually arrange sex via text message
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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