What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
