This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
we're making bets on your personal life
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you never un-have a 4some
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
