I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
