Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
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Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
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