I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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