why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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