so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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