evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
