so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize