windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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