thus making me awesome and them whores
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
