So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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