Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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