Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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