I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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