it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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