i don't like sucking hair
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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