Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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