i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
