Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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