Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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