She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
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I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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