Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just pee around me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
