Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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