Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think a kid would responsible me up
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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