Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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