The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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