It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
