At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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