then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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