is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
