just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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