i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
