im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
