I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
