we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
