Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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