i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize