Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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