Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
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i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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