dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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