I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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