he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
