I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
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