You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
