Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
