i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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