Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
