If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
