Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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