Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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  (250): You don't have asthma, your pregnant http://tfl.nu/jkmk
  Replies (5) Good night (556) Bad night (1278) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.

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  (212): ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years. http://tfl.nu/7axl
  Replies (36) Good night (1736) Bad night (808)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes

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  (610): Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes http://tfl.nu/106l
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

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  (601): Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ... http://tfl.nu/f5g8
  Replies (33) Good night (1219) Bad night (4117) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him

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  (508): He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him http://tfl.nu/0v7f
  Replies (4) Good night (5573) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

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  (585): He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry." http://tfl.nu/vnva
  Replies (25) Good night (1659) Bad night (463)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.

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  (567): Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho. http://tfl.nu/6eue
  Replies (2) Good night (1510) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.

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  (479): The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now. http://tfl.nu/1qaa
  Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.

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  (719): I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone. http://tfl.nu/u0bu
  Replies (4) Good night (1348) Bad night (402) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ps I am

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  (440): Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now (440): Ps I am http://tfl.nu/ow38
  Replies (8) Good night (2056) Bad night (380)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.

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  (908): And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on. http://tfl.nu/q88b
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (452) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.

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  (928): The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death. http://tfl.nu/lz31
  Replies (11) Good night (348) Bad night (1650) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills

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  (904): It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills http://tfl.nu/9anu
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (214)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...

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  (413): I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day... http://tfl.nu/0scx
  Replies (12) Good night (977) Bad night (301) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is our new insurance provider?

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  (978): FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning. (978): Who is our new insurance provider? http://tfl.nu/a2lj
  Replies (3) Good night (617) Bad night (165)

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