i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize