shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I think my moral compass just broke
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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