bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
