My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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