Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize