We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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