You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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