If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
