So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
